You want to have great dances when you go out social dancing? There’s no better way to do this than to take it into your own hands. It takes passion for dance and a willingness to put yourself out there. It means competing for those partners that will totally make your night.

It means turning into a dance hound.

A dance hound is someone who always gets the dances that they want. They never leave the dancefloor feeling like they’ve had a sub-par evening, because they are willing to turn their dance experience into something wonderful for themselves.

Despite the negative connotation some may have, being a dance hound actually does wonders for the quality of your social dance experiences. It’s one of the best ways to give yourself a fulfilling dance experience.

Step 1: Locate your partner

You see them dancing across the room. Position yourself nearby, but ensure you are as inaccessible as possible to any other partner. For example, stand behind a chair or check your cellphone very adamantly.

Keep eye contact the whole time – it’s not creepy, it simply shows you want to dance. Most partners will find this eye contact intriguing and be more likely to understand you want to dance. If possible, combine the eyes with a sultry look, gentle hair-toss, or strategic ‘cool’ pose.

Step 2: Swoop in

Wait until you see your future partner begin to hug their previous partner. This means their dance is ending, and it signals your opportunity for a dance is coming. Preferably, you’ll have more than one dance, but we’ll cover that later.

The second you see your opening, Go! It doesn’t matter if you accidentally elbow some other dancers out of the way or if you step on someone – you have a goal. You need to do what you have to do to make that happen. (There may be some people who also accidentally step on you, but that’s OK as long as you don’t need stitches).

If your partner’s back is to you, grab their shoulder. Demand your dance – if you’re authoritative, they will not say no. If they say they need a break, hold on to them tighter and stare into their eyes until they agree to your dance request. Sometimes, it’s the only way.

Lead them into the middle of the floor. It’s harder to leave a dance if you need to walk 20 feet through dancing couples. It’s a great strategic way to ensure you get more than one dance. If you need to push other couples out of the way, go for it.

Step 3: Never let them go

We know that those magic dances are rare – so why let go of the partner? If they attempt to break off the dance at the end of one song, grab on tighter. Pull them closer. If a hand-to-hand contact, grip them tightly – the skin should be white with pressure underneath your grasp.

Breathe sexily into their ear, if you must (I’ve also heard that a sensual licking works well). If you’re in a close hold, press as much of your body as possible into your partner. It shows you like the dance.

Extra body waves, grinding, hair tosses, and ‘slippy hands’ also work well.

Step 4: Remember When You Are

Happy April 1st, everyone 🙂

Please don’t spoil the joke on Facebook 😉 Share with your friends, but let them discover the joke on their own!

(If you took this article seriously, we need to talk, btw)